We are one.

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Abraham Lincoln

We humans are such masters of self-deception, with the seeds of selfishness and ego buried in all of us at birth. We so easily find fault in others and see how they are selfish or dumb. Ignorant. Maybe even evil. Yet we are often blind to our own acts of selfishness. We are wired and conditioned to focus on the domains we think separate us – religion, politics, status, intelligence – and our default interpretation of their selfishness becomes “oh, their selfishness or stupidity is because of their ignorance.” And that interpretation of the actions of others allows us to convince ourselves that the problems of the world are because of others, not because of us. We don’t need to change; they do.

We forget. Forget that we, like others, often let our ego drive and act selfishly or irrationally. Forget that sometimes we are the culprits committing the crime, doing to others the very thing that annoys or hurts us – sending that email saying “great if you could…” or that text bailing last minute on our promises that somebody planned their day (or week) around – knowing all the while just how slighted we would feel if we were on the receiving end. Forget that we are all made of and motivated by the same types of things – necessary parts of one great whole, different threads on the same web. And forget that by showing patience and loving others, we are showing patience and loving ourselves.

To cure this classic human case of forgetfulness, we must then find ways to remind ourselves to observe and recognize our ego and selfishness when it surfaces. Not so that we can shame ourselves for the feelings, but so we can develop empathy – the powerful and potent antidote to the ego and self-absorption that so often causes us to slip up. By seeing the seeds of selfishness and ego in ourselves (and not just in others), we have a little more patience with everyone, including ourselves. By remembering how we all have planks in our eyes when it comes to seeing our own selfishness, we are quicker to forgive that person that cut you off, bumped into you at the supermarket, or parked so close to your car that you couldn’t open the door. Because we have been that person in a rush and we will be there again. We are that person and they are us. We are all selfish.

Now before we get too far, a few words of warning are in order: our natural tilt toward selfishness and self-deception is not so easily defeated. It will take more than the simple reminders mentioned above to remove the weeds sprouting from the seeds of ego and self-importance that have been buried in our nature for as long as humans existed. Its ancient roots run deep. Ego is why Cain killed Abel and why the Nazis reduced millions of humans to ash. It’s plagued humanity forever and we are no exception. Even now, you may be thinking “this message is fine and all, but it is meant for others; not me.” Beware. Ego is a master illusionist, quick to beckon you back to sleep with life’s sweet lullabies.

If you’ve made it this far, and are wondering just how we might push back against our egos, I’m happy to report that some of history’s greatest philosophers and thinkers have been attempting to formulate an antidote to ego since the beginning of time. And in this pursuit, one particularly potent remedy has emerged: dwell deeply and often on the interconnectedness of all things and our unity with one each other. Amorphous, I know. But you’re getting ahead of me! To explain, I need to take you on a tour of teachings so you can see exactly what is meant. But first read the “particularly potent remedy” again, this time with my emphasis and annotations added: dwell deeply and often [actually be still and ponder; don’t just skim the surface!] on the interconnectedness of all things [not just the things you like] and our unity with each other [each other, not only some others]. Now for the tour.

Our first stop is with the first five lines of the Emerald Tablet an ancient and mysterious tablet said to have been carved by Hermes – who was thought to be a contemporary of Abraham and was later deified as the God of Wisdom by Egyptians. The lines display a Hermetic axiom that everything emanates from the same source and is, thus, made of the same material. (We have Isaac Newton, who had a copy of the tablet on his desk, to thank for the English translation):

That which is below is like that which is above

and that which is above is like that which is below

to do the miracles of one only thing

and as all things have been and arose from one by mediation of one:

so all things have their birth from this one thing by adaptation.

At this stop on the tour, we see many of the ancient philosophies (Buddhism, Hinduism, and Taoism) all express similar sentiments in their doctrines: everything is connected.

Out your window on the left is the Stoic concept of sympatheia (meaning affinity of parts to the organic whole, mutual interdependence), as expressed by both Seneca: “All that you behold, that which comprises both god and man, is one – we are the parts of one great body” and Marcus Aurelius alike: “Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe. For in a sense, all things are mutually woven together and therefore have an affinity for each other – for one thing follows after another according to their tension of movement, their sympathetic stirrings, and the unity of all substance.” And out your window on the right, you may notice the Bible offering its own variants, one of which is seen in Ephesians 4:4: “We are all parts of one body, we have the same Spirit, and we have all been called to the same glorious future.”

All of which leads to this meditation: the universe is a single living being, with a single body and a single consciousness. Every individual mind is a tiny particle of one great mind; atoms (or should I say Adams) in the same matter. Each living thing like a limb or organ of one great body, working together to bring about the Universe in accord with one collective soul. Everything like strands of a web, woven together to form a single fabric. You are me, and I am you. There is no “other”; we are all one. But enough of this for now, it’s time to move to our next destination.

I know what you’re thinking: that’s all good and well, but all that mumbo jumbo is a bit too mystical and new-agey. Fair point. But this notion of interconnectedness is more than just a philosophical axiom; it is, as recent DNA science reveals, a literal truth about how the universe and all living things in it are organized.

Which leads me to the next stop our on tour: the Exhibits at the Natural History Museum of Utah, where you will find what is known as the Tree of Life in the biology community. The Tree of Life is a graphic tool that biologists use to portray the evolutionary relationships between plants, animals, and all other forms of living things. And what does this “Tree” reveal? Without getting into the weeds, it shows all forms of life contain DNA and, within that DNA, similar traits among the DNA sequences of all forms of life are observed. In other words, all living things share common genes, which suggests (given what we know about how genes are passed) every living thing has a common ancestor from whom the common gene originated. And as for human beings, we share 99% our genetic code with other human beings. We are, quite literally, made of the same stuff.

Now I could go on for ages, but I suppose it’s about time we ended the tour for now. And with the end of our tour I return to why this matters: when we remind ourselves that we are one, we develop a sense of empathy and a default to patience that offers an antidote to ego and selfishness. We see ourselves in others rather than seeing them as other. We see that when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves; when we love others, we love ourselves; and when we treat others well, we treat ourselves well. The selfishness and self-absorption that blinds us melts away and the beauty of everything comes into view, as if we’ve lifted the shades of our soul. And we come to this sweet realization: We are one team on an endless project. Authors writing the same novel. Artists painting the same canvas. Rivers running into the same ocean. We are one. And that includes the people that piss you off or rub you the wrong way. They, too, are treasured parts of the same whole. Indispensable and invaluable, with a role that only they can play. As are you. I pray we all remember that. Because our work’s not done.

Fiat lux.